Home boy

I landed in the dead of night, cold and grumpy, no one would sit next to me on the plane. Two consecutive jam packed flights, all the way from Los Angeles, California to Providence, Rhode Island, for a grand total of six hours and eleven minutes and the only empty seat in the house was right next to me. What am I, some kind of jerk? Well... maybe i shouldn't have worn the Zack Morris sunglasses the WHOLE time, and I guess I could have shaved, and combed my hair but whatever! Like it doesn't hurt my feelings when every single person on the plane looks at you and cringes before deciding to take seats next to screaming babies, morbidly obese recreational eaters, and the deathly ill. I mean COME ON, I'm a pretty cool guy, I mean you HAVE to be pretty cool to rock a pair of goofy sunglasses like you mean it, right? Furthermore, they totally missed out on my well rehearsed tirades about the benefits of rearing large crops of retarded children or how Arnold Schwarzenegger should be anointed emperor of America. Then again... maybe it's for the best.

Since I've been back, visiting my home town, I've been busy as a bee, running here and there all hippity bippidy trying to see all the friends I've left behind. I made the New England trifecta of Boston, Providence, and New York, I went to half a dozen New Year's and X-mas parties, and received all manner of daps, bro-hugs, kisses and sensualities from friends, acquaintances, teammates, long time superdudes, and assorted love interests. It's made me feel full, after a time of being very much on my own and a bit lonely, It's made me feel like I matter. Now I'm like the next guy who wrestles with his self loathing and self doubt on a regular basis, and I'm not one for giving into despair or getting all emo and crying to everybody I see, but when it seems like your walking invisible in an unfeeling world nothing quiets those sinister inner whisperings like the voice of friend. A lot of the time i regard myself as a bad person who is constantly striving for some kind redemption ( sue me, my mother raised me catholic) but the people in my my life are of such quality that I can't quite reconcile the guilt with reality. If all these magnificent people deem me worthy of their friendship, how bad can i really be? I must be okay at least, because i know I'm not fooling anyone, I suck dick at playing poker.

So as i get ready to go back to the front lines of my private war with the social structure, I take my strength from the people who hold me up, and my confidence is bolstered, because with a foundation this solid, i can't ever be broken down. So happy New Year friends, I'm going to miss you when I'm gone, but if everything goes according to plan, pretty soon we'll all be living our dreams in a castle built in the clouds.