Supermarket Sweep

( one for Ms. Chloe Mandel)


Whenever I imagine what heaven would be like, I automatically cycle through all the Judeo-Christian artistic representations, you know, billowing cumulus clouds, pearly gates, choirs of white robed angels singing in glorious cacophony to the greatness of "He who is called I AM". That shit is all pretty stupid, and god awfully boring (sic!) so eventually I come back to what my personal idea of heaven is.

...and it looks a whole hell of a lot like the Stop n Shop at three in the morning.

I've done it a bunch of times, just rolled on up in the middle of the night, the place is still 100% lit up because its in the suburbs and nothing makes any sense out there. I grab a cart and start sliding down the isles, the one other person in the store is the night manager and he's in the back room drinking coffee and watching anime porn. I bust a big smile and ride the back of that shiny shopping cart down the fluorescent rainbow isles, crammed with sugary goodness and savory dreams. The bright whites reflect of the freshly waxed floor giving everything an ethereal glow and the lemony fresh scent of pine-sol reminds me of my Mom's kitchen floor. Fleetwood Mac is bringing that soft rock lullaby somewhere very high above me and drifting out of an old half blown out speaker. I think it's something about the abundance that I find comforting, and I suppose it says a lot about me that my idea of heaven is a warehouse full of food, but hey, I never claimed to be anything other than a basic unit. I just drag that back foot as I roll from the soft drinks to frozen foods, I think I'll get a pizza to go with this ginger ale, then maybe some ice cream...the kind with peanut butter cups in it.
I mean really...
What else is there?